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military hero whose fame had been eclipsed by the following week's sports headline? She had been an
office holder. I'm sure our associates assumed that our marriage was more intimate than it was.
At the same time she gravitated steadily toward me, as if her gee-shield were being damped. When she
understood that I really was honoring our pact, she became more relaxed. She would kiss me at odd
moments, as if doing something naughty. I neither solicited nor extended such intimacies; one might
have thought that my interest in her was casual. It was not, and she knew it; all that Spirit had said about
my orientation toward Megan was true. We were not children, and this was no kingdom by the sea, but I
did indeed love her with a love that was more than love. I knew that if I forced her, however subtly, in
any way, I would lose her. She had to come to me. It was as if she were a delicate flower that would wilt
if touched by human hand, if plucked before its time. I did not even look at her inappropriately; the look
of a man can be an aggressive thing. Those who had known me as a Navy man might have found that
hard to believe, but only Spirit had been with me in the Navy and she understood.
Megan and I had been married three years, together two, and sharing the bedroom one. I knew that her
respect and fondness for me had been growing. Megan took time to travel her way, but she was not coy.
A month before, she had let me see her in her slip, and she remained a fair figure of a woman; I had of
course given no overt signal of awareness, but she had known I was aware. I knew that, to her, physical
nudity was tantamount to sexual contact, indeed was a form of it. Her gradual onset of familiarity was
no striptease but a measured silent statement of her sentiment. So now, when she said, "It is time," I
knew it was no casual thing. That statement was fraught with commitment.
"I love you in whatever way you would be loved," I said carefully.
"I know that, Hope." She looked about the room, as if searching for something, but it was nothing
physical she sought. "I believe we are entering your area of expertise."
My expertise being, in the symbolism that existed between us, sexual. I had served in the Navy; I had
made love and/or sex frequently, and to a number of different women over the years, in accordance with
the military mandate. I knew what I was doing, in that respect, far better than I did in politics, despite
her tutelage. By the same token I knew that Megan was afraid; she had no experience in the physical
aspect of love.
I never wanted to cause her the slightest discomfort of any kind. There are those who ridicule what they
call the Madonna complex, the attitude of a man toward a woman he deems to be untouchably perfect.
This is not precisely the way I viewed Megan, but there might be a parallel. "There is no need."
She smiled tremulously. "You have been extraordinarily patient, Hope. I thought at first forgive me
that you would tire of a sterile marriage and take a mistress. It has taken me time to believe that a
handsome and talented man like you could actually love an older woman. Yet I see that it is so."
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"It is so," I agreed.
Again she looked about, and again found nothing to fix on. "I am not good at this, Hope, but I have been
impressed by your your dedication to the cause that you have chosen. I have come to appreciate the
qualities that you have. So let me just say, I am ready to be yours. Do with me what you will."
But she didn't mean it, quite. What she really meant was that she was ready for me to take the initiative
in our private relationship. It was a most significant turning point.
I did so cautiously. For the first time since our ceremony of marriage, I kissed her at my behest, rather
than hers. I touched her lips with mine. I held her for a moment, savoring her, and let her go. "Sing for
me," I told her.
Surprised but relieved, she went to her piano and played and sang an operatic aria. She was, of course, a
very fine singer, a former professional, and I had always been enraptured by her melodies. When she
finished, I joined her, singing a folk song. We made a duet, and it was very sweet. And that, for now,
was as far as it went. It was as far as it could go without impinging on her nature.
The state of Sunshine had a unicameral legislature. In the archaic days on Earth, most states had had
divided assemblies, but over the centuries these had given way to the more efficient single-house
situations. It was time, Megan decided, for me to run for state senator, in my local district. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]