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have been surprised, but her reaction was anger, not fear. And
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something else he couldn t name.
 I don t have to tell you. Anyway, I can t remember; it s only
what I ve heard.
 That s a lie. The whole thing s a lie. But who told you?
 For heaven s sake, it doesn t matter, she said.  And stop
shouting.
 You can t accuse me like this and not tell me who told you.
Was it Robert? Was it?
Something flickered in her eyes. By some miracle, Jamie held
onto his temper and waited. It might have been the longest few
seconds he d ever experienced.
 I don t know, she said at last, not looking at him.  It might
have been David, but I m not sure.
David? God, yes, he supposed that made some sort of sense.
Robert must have told him everything when they were having their
affair in the New Year. Bastard. Jamie couldn t think properly. But
why the hell had David told Lucy? Unless&
 You and David are very pally these days, aren t you? He
folded his arms so he wouldn t grab her.
 I like him. It s not a crime.
 Makes you feel better, does it? Being with a bloke who
doesn t want to make love to you? Really, I didn t have you down
as a fag hag.
 Leave it, Jamie. Just leave it.
He couldn t.  I m surprised David hasn t spread the whole
thing round Limewater by now. I suppose I should be grateful.
Unless you ve been telling your patients about it as well?
 Don t be ridiculous. What do you think? She paused.  So it s
true then, is it?
Jamie took a step back and felt his face grow hot.  No, it isn t.
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And make sure David knows it, will you?
She stood her ground and laughed, a hollow sound.  Well,
maybe you ought to deal with the problem, as you see it, at source
and talk to Robert about it. As you re so pally with him now, it
should be easy for you.
 Shut up.
 With pleasure, Jamie.
With that she sidestepped round him, tugged open the dining
room door and walked out of the house without a backward glance.
He tried to unclench his fists, but couldn t. What the hell had
Robert been thinking? Jamie needed to sort this out and he needed
to do it now.
His father was in the living room, staring at the television as if
nothing else important was happening. Jamie wished it weren t. He
told him he had business to attend to and would be back early
afternoon. His dad simply nodded. He didn t even look up. Jamie
was in the car and heading toward Colchester within five minutes.
His skin was still burning when he slammed to a halt in the
communal car park and then leant on the connecting buzzer.
 Hello, this is Robert Trevelyan. His disembodied voice
floated out of the speaker.
 It s me. Let me in.
He said nothing in reply, but the door clicked open, and Jamie
ran up the stairs. Robert was standing framed in the office
doorway. Behind him, Jamie could see the polished wooden floors
stretching out and the new furniture in the corner waiting to be set
up.
 What the hell did you tell David about me, you bastard?
Robert s cautious smile disappeared.  You d better come in
and we can discuss this in a calm fashion. There are other people
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working in the offices here.
Jamie strode past him, and Robert closed the door behind him.
 I m sorry I can t offer you a seat, but as you can see, there s 
 I don t care about your bloody furniture and I wouldn t sit
down with you if you paid me to.
 Why not?
 Never mind. The memory of their recent kiss filled his head,
but Jamie paced away and turned on his heel to point an accusing
finger at him.  Why the hell did you tell David about what
happened between& 
But it was up to Robert to say the words.
 Between you and me? At Christmas? Six years ago? He
finished Jamie s sentence and sighed.  I see. You haven t erased it
entirely from your memory, so that s nice. But how do you know I
told him?
 Because David told Lucy, and Lucy told me.
He raised one eyebrow.  Really? Interesting sequence of
events, don t you think?
 Don t bullshit me. Why the hell did you have to tell him?
 I shouldn t have said anything, I know. I m sorry. It was just
one of those post-coital moments when 
 Shut up! I don t want to know what you and David got up to.
It s disgusting.
 Is it? His gaze held Jamie s for a moment before he went on.
 You asked me how I came to tell him, and I m trying to answer
you.
Jamie said nothing, but he realized he was breathing heavily.
 So, what happened was that afterward, we had a few drinks,
shared a joint together and were busy getting stoned when the
inevitable question came up about people we knew and previous
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relationships.
 That s a lie because we never had a relationship. Not really.
 So you say. But I was too far gone to be discreet about
anything. I m very sorry. I m sorry I told him and I m sorry he s
told someone else, though if it s any consolation I don t think
Lucy s the type to spread gossip. Most of all, I m sorry it hurt
you.
When Jamie looked up at him, he realized with a start that
Robert was now only a couple of feet away. All the while he d
been speaking, he must have been moving nearer.
 Don t be stupid. I m not hurt. He took several backward
steps toward the far wall.  There s nothing going on to be hurt
about.
 So why not just laugh off the whole thing? Jesus, Jamie, apart
from our Easter kiss and God alone knows what you thought that
was really about what went on happened six years ago now.
Ancient history. Why come rushing down here breathing fire and
brimstone like a jealous lover all of a sudden?
 Shut up. You don t know what you re talking about.
 Don t I? Robert kept moving toward him, and Jamie kept
moving away until he could feel the solid wall against his back. He
wished he d never come. At the same time, it felt like there was no
way he could leave.
 It strikes me this whole conversation is way off beam, Robert
continued.  Why are you here? To shout at me for telling an ex-
lover something I shouldn t have? Or to shout at me for being
intimate with someone who isn t you?
 You re crazy, Jamie snapped at him and tried to swerve
away, but Robert reached out and grabbed him by the arm.  Let me
go.
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 No, I won t, Robert said.  Not this time. This time, maybe I
won t be as patient with you as I was before. It strikes me there s
something going on here and it s about time we had a good look at
it. Isn t that true, Jamie? Isn t it?
He struggled to break free, but Robert was stronger. And
Jamie s efforts only brought the other man closer to himself. Jesus,
what was Robert going to do to him?
 For instance, he whispered, his face almost touching Jamie s,
 why don t we take a good look at why you re so turned on at the
moment?
 I m not. But it was a lie, and they both knew it.
 Don t be silly. I can see how excited you are right now, you
idiot. Tell me, is it just the time of the day for you? Or is it anger?
Or maybe, just maybe, lust? Not enough of Lucy? Or not enough
of& me? With that, he pushed Jamie s body hard into the wall.
 Get off me, you bastard, or I ll& 
 What? Punch me like you did Mark? Kiss me again? You
don t know which just now, do you? Perhaps it s time to see what
the hell is going on. Perhaps it s time I finished the job I started six
years ago. Tell you what, I ll even do you a deal, and it s not often
I promise that to anyone I come across on a business footing, so
count yourself lucky. If, in the next few minutes, you don t want
me to do what I hope you ll let me do, then all you have to say is
the word,  no. Just  no and I ll leave you alone. Understand? [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]