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wracked his body as he curled into himself, clutching the
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letter in his hand. He threw the tumbler at the nearby wall,
watching it shatter like his heart.
"This isn't fair!" he cried out angrily.
Cadwyn let out a whine and pawed him. Trynt wrapped an
arm around her and buried his face in her neck, fingers
tangling in her thick fur.
He needed Matt. He needed to know if he was alive. He
had never hurt like this, never felt so broken inside. He
wanted his husband to walk through the door, draw him in his
arms and soothe away the pain. But what if he never came
home? What was he going to do without Matt?
Sniffling, he let go of Cadwyn and went to get his journal
from the nightstand. He needed to write out his thoughts and
feelings, as they all seemed to tangle together, crushing him
from the inside out.
He tucked the letter in the journal pocket and reverently
ran his fingers over a photo of Matt dressed in his RAF
uniform that was tucked inside. Grabbing his fountain pen, he
flipped to a blank page then began writing.
December 20, 1944
Matt is Missing in Action. I feel like part of me has died. My
heart broke as Kimi told me the news earlier. I know the
statistics. I know his chances are low. It pains me to know he
could be out there in that mess of a battle, hurting, and I
can't do a thing. That kills me, and I wish there was a way to
take his place. I'd gladly do it to ease his suffering.
And what if he's been captured? I've heard the horrifying
and sickening rumours of what the Germans have done. It
makes me sick to even think that, so I have to stop that train
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of thought. I can't let myself think of what they would do to
my beautiful Matt. I'll never sleep again if I do. No, he's too
clever and well trained to let that happen.
Five days from Christmas... I already knew we wouldn't
get to spend it together, but this is just wrong. He should be
here with me, buying a tree and presents, drinking eggnog in
front of the fire, making love under the lights and laughing in
the snow. Instead he's missing. What if he's cold and hungry?
This is killing me, not knowing anything.
I need to know if he's all right, but there's no way of
knowing. And if I went down there, I'd expose us, which
would ruin everything. If it's not already ruined. I wish I could
hold him again. Damn the war, I would never let him go. I'd
keep him here with me and lock him in our room where we
said our vows.
That was the best night of my life. I'll never forget the look
in Matt's eyes as he said those words. I'll never forget how
amazing it was to make love to him afterwards, our bodies
joined and hearts beating as one
He has to be all right, he just has to. I feel so alone right
now. I miss him. I miss his smile. I miss my friend, lover, and
husband. The one my heart and soul confides in. I just want
him to hold me again. I want to feel safe and loved as he
looks at me with those gorgeous blue eyes.
He's my husband and I have to hope that he will find his
way home. I do, despite how I feel. A tiny voice that sounds
just like him God, I miss his voice keeps telling me he
made a promise and he'll keep it. I know he loves me and
there's not a thing he wouldn't do. But he is just a man, and
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this war is destroying everything. I know I will never be whole
again if he doesn't return. I know I will never love like this
again; I was counting on forever with Matt, because he gave
me that hope. He made me believe it, and I want it. I want
just him and no one else. I need us to be together, so I'm
going to wait for him for as long as it takes. I'm not going to
give up hope. He wouldn't want me to, and I will keep that
promise to him.
Trynt shut the journal and wiped his eyes. "I'll wait for
you, Matt," he promised aloud, and then got to his feet to
take a shower.
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by Anna Lee
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Matt came to with a pained groan; his head was throbbing,
his chest hurt and he was freezing cold. Slowly, he opened his
eyes as the pieces of the past few hours came flooding back.
His Spitfire had been torn apart by weapon fire. He'd taken
out all five Messerschmitts, drawing them away from his men,
before he was forced to jump as his plane dived down. The
landing was rough, and he had hit his head on something,
blacking out until now.
Looking at his surroundings, he saw he was completely
alone in a snowy field and there didn't appear to be
civilisation for miles. He had no way of signalling for help
wasn't even sure they were looking for him, since he had no
idea how much time had passed. He fumbled for his pocket
watch in his uniform pocket and saw that though it was
dented it still worked. The watch made him think of Trynt,
who was waiting for him to come home. He couldn't give up
or just wait for rescue.
Ignoring the pain, he pushed himself to his feet after
assessing his injuries. He was certain he had a concussion
and cracked ribs, but he could walk. Looking up at the full
moon and stars, he used them to figure out where north was,
then headed in that direction. A camp of men would be in that
direction, though he wasn't sure how long he'd have to walk.
It didn't really matter; he had to keep moving.
Wrapping his arms around himself and wishing he had his [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]